In honour of Mother's Day, which is just around the corner, I have decided to devote an entry to Mothers.
I know I wasn't the easiest of daughters to have. I know it was pure luck that you didn't kill me and have me for brekkie over and over again while I was a boy-crazy teenager.
I know I was born a teenager, and I never knew what you meant until just recently.
I know that I was too independent, too strong-willed and too much of a know-it-all.
I guess now is my time. I guess now I understand why you did what you did. I understand now why it was so important to be the person you wanted me to be.
Now I am a mother. At times, I am nostalgic for the times when I didn't have a care in the world, and now I realize there is somebody else who depends on me to make the right decisions, to soothe him when he is hurt, to teach him life's valuable lessons and to make sure he keeps his nose out of trouble. For I realize now that this is what you strove to do. You wanted me to be a strong, independent and resourceful woman, somebody who could hold her own regardless of the circumstance and hurdles to overcome.
You taught me respect to myself and towards others. To always put others before me. To work towards the greater good of the community. You taught me that hard work pays off. You taught me the value and importance of a home and family unit, even though most of the time, it was just you and me.
You taught me to always think of the repercussions to my actions - even though I never listened. You taught me consequences for my actions, even though they were not always good. But I learned from them. And those consequences turned me into the strong adult that I am now.
I remember when you probably stayed up all night worried about me because I failed to come home or call. I remember your disappointment in me when I turned into the boy-crazy teenager I was. I know I was a tough teenager, and I can only hope my children don't put me through that torture one day, although they probably will.
I am 30 years old, and a mother now. I understand now your decisions to be strong with me, for I want to be strong with my children. I want them to grow up to be morally and ethically strong individuals with their own opinions, respect for themselves and others, and a thirst for knowledge; the way you did with me.
I love you, mum, for you raised me to be the way that I am.